Amid everything divides us as a country, can we all come together and agree that motorcycles are the worst?
There is a lot that divides us as a country right now. We are as politically polarized as we have ever been in my lifetime. The COVID-19 pandemic has people afraid and confined to their homes, unable to visit friends or see loved ones.
Amid these uncertain times, when there is so much to promote fear, anger, and division, let us all come together in unity finally to agree that motorcycles are the worst.
Motorcycles are the Worst
They are loud. Really, really loud.
Those who ride motorcycles have intentionally chosen a means of transportation that creates as much noise as possible. They seek to ensure that they cause the greatest possible amount of disturbance everywhere they go, becoming a nuisance to all around them, and, like toddlers in need of constant validation, drawing as much attention to themselves as they can.
If there is anything that we can agree on now, it should be that motorcycles are the worst. They wake up children and adults. They rattle windows. They force us to stop whatever conversations we are able to have during these times to wait for them to clear the area.
If God were a vengeful, arbitrary God, I believe hell would be reserved for serial killers and those who ride motorcycles, with the deepest circle of hell reserved for Harley owners.
Join with Me
As we all search for peace during these difficult times, let us recognize that which provides the most obvious, most obnoxious disturbance of that peace: motorcycles.
So, if you’ve ever had your sleeping children awaken after spending hours trying to get them down, if you’ve ever had a peaceful afternoon disturbed by the futile mating call of an adolescent man-child, if you’ve ever had to cover your ears in your own house, unite together and join the cry: motorcycles are the worst.
Oppose helmet laws.